All Or Nothing
by Chrissy8887779999
Summary: Missing Scene. Night before the 5th year lake incident and Snape is marked with the dark mark. His thoughts on joining and on Lily. Not a love story.


All or nothing 

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling

The room was dark, and even with the moonlight he could barely make out the furniture he knew to be there. Everything was made out of the most expensive woods available. His mother had made sure to redecorate his dorm when he moved in; being a prefect had its' values.

He knew the room like the back of his hand, and didn't bump into anything as he paced. He knew there was nothing to worry about because Malfoy had said so. All he had to do was do as his new Master said and he would be fine. However a part of him was still worried. What if things went wrong? What if it wasn't what he thought it would be? What if he wasn't going to fit in? What if he was only pushing _her_ further away?

He shook his head. Now was not the time for second thoughts or doubts. He would walk in there and he would join, simple as that. Malfoy had said that some members had to prove their loyalty, but the Dark Lord never asked for much; messing around with a mudblood or two, laughing at a half blood, things like that. As long as it didn't have anything to do with _her_, he could do anything to anyone. He wasn't worried; no one knew of his feelings, not even _her_. Surely the Dark Lord would not know his greatest weakness?

He shook his head again; he was getting nervous. He smirked and winked at himself in the mirror, but then caught one look at himself and scowled. It was no wonder he could never compare to _Potter. _The other day he had tried a potion for his hair, but it ended up making it incredibly greasy and he hadn't figured out a way to change it back; he doubted he ever would.

There was a soft knock on the door and without waiting for an answer, the door opened to reveal a tall man with very pale skin and silvery blond hair.

"It is time." He said and he turned and left. Snape followed blindly, worries replaced by a feeling of numbness. He followed him outside and to the edge of the forbidden forest, where he placed his hand on a small piece of rubbish and waited for the familiar feeling of a portkey to commence.

At 12:43 am the feeling came, and they were transported to a dimly lit house. There they met a young woman who had just graduated from Hogwarts. Snape recognized her to be Bella Lestrange. Bella nodded her head in acknowledgement and led them into another room.

When they entered they all had to shield their eyes from all the light. This room was not like any of the other rooms in the house. It had a large fire roaring in the fireplace, and all the torches were lit. There, in a large armchair, sat Lord Voldemort himself. Snape felt his legs wobble a bit and tried to stop the tremble in his hands as he approached the chair. Malfoy fell to his knees and bent his head low and Snape did the same. Finally, after a few minutes of bowing, Voldemort spoke.

"Rise," he said softly, and without waiting for them to do so he continued, "You wish to join my ranks and here you are before me, about to be rewarded with my mark. You must know that you are an exception; others have to wait until after they graduated to be awarded such an honour. However I see much potential in the both of you, and I know that you will do everything to serve me best so that I do not get angry." He stopped talking and stood quickly. He smirked at both of them and advanced towards Snape very quietly but quickly. He bent his head low to Snape ear and whispered in a malicious voice, "Because I do not like being angry, but what I dislike more is incompetent death eaters. Do you know what happens if I deem you incompetent? Hope you never have to find out. Now raise your left arm."

Snape did not chance a look at Malfoy, but he knew that he was feeling just as scared and excited as he was. He slowly raised his left arm and kept his eyes on Voldemort.

"Do you swear to serve me, to do exactly as I say and never once question me, or give your opinion unless I specifically ask for it?"

"Yes." They answered in union

"And do you swear to never discuss what is said in our meetings in a place where you can be overheard?"

"Yes."

"Do you swear, that until death itself, you will never reveal our secrets to the other side?"

"Yes."

"Are you willing to die for me?"

Malfoy answered yes with no hesitation, Snape said nothing. Voldemort noticed the hesitation and stared into Snape's very soul. He repeated the question, and then Snape felt a burning sensation in his head as he saw his life flash before him. It was then he knew he had to master occlumency.

"Yes." Snape answered slowly and Voldemort smirked, triumphant.

Voldemort raised his wand, and Snape closed his eyes shut for a moment. It was then he felt the extreme pain in his left arm. When the pain ceased Malfoy and Snape both bowed, and turned and left the room. Bella showed them out and they arrived at the castle a few minutes later. Dawn was almost out and they both hurried back into the Slytherin dorms, careful not to be caught by any teachers. Once safe, Snape did not even think about what he had just done; he was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

He skipped his first two classes of the day and only bothered to show up for Charms because he would be receiving his O.W.L results back.

After charms class that day he decided to go sit by the lake. He was settled in the grass by the great lake, pretending to be engrossed with his OWL results. He was proud of what he had done and felt incredibly lucky and powerful. He smirked; Lily would certainly go out with him now that he was more powerful then the God Potter himself. He looked down at his left arm for the first time since he was marked, and was somewhat surprised to find the dark mark. It didn't look as cool in the sunlight.

Deciding it was time to go, he got up and put his result papers in his bag. He looked to the other side of the lake and he saw Potter and his friends surrounded by a gaggle of girls. They spotted him too. Intense dread filled him as he anticipated what was going to come next. As soon as Potter spoke Snape dropped his bag and made a grab for his wand but Potter shouted expelliarmus and his wand flew backwards. He tried to get his wand but Black shouted impedimenta and he was thrown to the ground again. They taunted him and he tried to fight back. When he managed to get a hit at Potter, Potter retaliated with one of his own spells that left him hanging upside down with his underpants showing. _Great_ he thought to himself, _the _one _day I wear an old pair of underwear is the day the entire school watches me get pansed. _

After more taunts and humiliation, he heard the voice of an angel saying, "Leave him alone."

It was Lily. She tried to defend him but for some reason he could not get himself to thank her. Instead, he said the sentence that would haunt him until the day he died.

"I don't need help from a filthy mudblood like her."

He saw her once alive, and sparkling eyes go cold. Those eyes that got him through the day now void from any emotion regarding him. It was at that moment that he realised some of the implications of his actions. What happened next was a blur; all he could see was the pair of now cold eyes staring him down.

_What have I done?_

* * *

I know, it's short, and probably not very good, but any writer can tell you that when a plot bunny jumps into your head it won't leave until you write it all out.

Hope you enjoyed it anyways!

Take Care,

Chrissy


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